with your own penis?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
