So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Randomize
