If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
