Where is the hickey?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
