He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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