i need an iv and a liver transplant
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
this will be a night to untag.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Randomize
