she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I came so hard my ears popped.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
