i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Randomize
