Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
