I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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