The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
