Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
If I die, sorry about rent.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
