I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
