She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
