it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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