I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
