i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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