oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
