I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
No subtext here. People are naked.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
