kristin has been a bad kristin
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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