I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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