Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
