walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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