WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I just had sex on a roof
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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