part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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