Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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