happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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