he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
