once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
