Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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