some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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