he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
