I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
