he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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