Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
