This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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