How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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