You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
