All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
