Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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