at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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