I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
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