So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
