Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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