woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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