We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
