OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
