Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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