i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
