why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
