32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
