The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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