Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
